Breath

*Inhale*

I was awaken by the rain today and after the quick morning meanderings, I opened my window sat on the edge of my bed in silence feet on the window sill. I sat in silence as I listened to the breath of God. I couldn't see god's breath only the expression of it. The flags on my neighbors porch blowing in the wind, wind chimes singing their songs, the rustling of leaves. It was in that present moment I felt more alive than I had in the past few weeks. 

Here I was "super spiritual" me, forgetting to take the time to just be in the presence of God. 'God'. Saying that used to scare me because I didn't want people to think I was talking about the Christian version of God. For me, what most people think of when the word God is uttered, was never really what I was talking about. Then again the older I got I realized that my concept of God wasn't even what I thought it was about. I've started reading this book that is helping to break all those previous conceptions, breaking them down and expanding my consciousness in a palpable, meaningful way. I can willingly admit that for a time I have fallen prey to the 'spiritual arrogance'. I'm sure you've seen it before from your spiritual or religious friends. That feeling of "I'm so much more enlightened/holy then you are so I'm going to try and, either flagrantly or subtly, dismiss your expression of God completely." Many a people have reached this point. It's probably a necessary stop in spiritual evolution, one of those things that is hard to avoid. I think more and more I'm at a point where I really don't care if people understand my concept of God. Why? Because it is Mine. 

Me connecting with God was never about titles or ideas or practices. It was about me. Connecting with me. I know that there is only one me; therefore, there is only my unique expression of the God in me, through me. It's very freeing, honestly. I've been trying to figure out why I've been feeling so disconnected from God and it's because I haven't been connecting to myself the way that I should. The two are definitely intertwined, there can be no God without me, and no me without God. Working on becoming confident in I Am, is my goal now. And as I continue to listen to the expressions of Gods breath, I feel better about the decision to stop caring about how my godhood is perceived and to just be. 

*Exhale*